Different Pudding

So there's this. 
Yet, I don't think I'm too old or in too deep to break away. I don't know if anyone can be so far gone to lose all heart to fight for something - maybe they just haven't found something/someone for which to fight. So, if I cannot find enough worth in myself to fight  it right now, then I'll remember you have never failed me, so I won't fail you.
You're worth it to me along with all the others for whom I care so deeply.
And I'll do it for my future. I'd like to be worry-free and healthy for whatever else may come.
So, I may have tried to take it on before - it's been two steps back, one step forward mostly. Just remembering to swallow smaller bites. "It's gonna be alright".
I'm working towards a permanent vacation from my problems*.
[Sigh] 


If anything that is scaring me, aside from all of this, it is the fact I can't focus or sort through this puddin' o' feelings. Quite the large and strong brew, and I can't stop sticking my fingers in it, making them all pruny.


In muh brain.


*What About Bob ref. [Fist bump] if you got that.