Tuesday, October 25, 2011








My favorite words: notion, solace, verdant, feral, juxtaposed, hysterical, sloppy.
I love words (enough to invent a language for my imaginary friend, Potty Girl, when I was four), yet often find myself unable to structure the proper arrangement to justify what I would like to say in selected situations. For example, if I was asked to describe the events of the past six days, I absolutely cannot properly convey how perfect it was. I am overwhelmed, and can find no words.
A favorite quote: "After silence, that which comes nearest to expressing the inexpressible is music."
So, since I have no words, I will listen to a song or five that say what I would like to. I would share usually, but I will spare you from the sappy play list this time.

Saturday, October 15, 2011

Gummy Bears for Dinner

It's about 10 past 5PM on a friday at the ol' office. After talking myself out of bikram yoga classes, I walk out of my building and up 51st to the 6 Train station, down to its over-crowded platform. The train arrives; it stops, but only after a skull-shattering, drawn-out, screeching halt. Bodies pour out of the cars in an anthropomorphic lava. As they clear away, those standing by (impatiently) funnel in. I'd rather eat sardines than make like one in life, so waiting for the next train seems best.

I get off two stops past my home station with the sole intention of buying some pre-made organic chicken for dinner from a near by co-op. I throw some yogurt and coconut water in my basket, too. And those organic - therefore, healthy - gummy bears; made with the real fruit juice and sweetened with date pulp and world peace. Never pass them up. Some silky sorbet? Meh...it has that crystal-y ice film all over it; not this time.
My walk home has that eerie, yet fanciful, serenity that only an autumn evening could bring.
I take one more deep breath in the brisk twilight and step into my apartment. Before the groceries go into the kitchen, they follow me to my room, where I proceed to disrobe of my corporate attire into more comfortable things. As the slacks my dry-cleaner just about ruined after only one cleaning drop to the floor,
"Damn, I forgot the chicken".

Monday, September 5, 2011

unlabor

It is Labor Day once again. 
I can just barely recall last year's. Today, I am excelling at doing nothing at all; although, I have myself beat in comparison to the past. Sure, I may be doing little more at the moment than listening to music and eating gummy bears, but I am actually dressed and back from the corner with milk and a kale, lemon and beet juice. Great feats.
I will be dog sitting for the next few days for a friend back in the old hood of Park Slope. She is happy and fluffy, white with big cinnamon spots. She is appropriately named Ginger.


In the past month, I changed business addresses from 845 Madison to 845 Third.
I started my new job as Coordinator of Leadership Development Programs at a not-for-profit, not a non-profit. There is a difference, I've learned.      
For the last several weeks, I have been reading all the new material on and relevant to the organization (and sitting in meetings about Intangible Assets and how to factor in their worth to a company's market value) and studying said programs for which I must soon coordinate. So. Blah blah, metrics, yadda yadda economic jargon jargon jargon. 
 It is obvious I still do not comprehend in full the whole intricate web of This new organization and its members, so I will explain it better once I know it better.
I know I never would have even dreamed myself in a position at a place such as this, but it is just another thing to learn, and the environment is much more kind to me than my last. I am able to do lots of research; I like research. All this drowning helps divert my brain from other sad-sappy-suckerish things, so for that, I guess I am a little grateful. 
Shifting my focus, I'd like to help change something. And finding out why the Fed is interested on my organization's psychology theories of Leadership is one of them. I would like to foil their plan so damn hard, whatever that may be. 
In a way, I feel more and more like Ron Swanson, lately. 
Also, I attended a 9/11 Memorial city cruise put on by the Constitutionalist party and the John Birch Society. During the lunch portion, I sat next to a Pennsylvanian that looked a helluvalot like Roy Scheider.


Thursday, August 4, 2011

Just a Thursday

For some odd reason, I would like the world to have the option of knowing how my Thursday is going.
I am feeling sort of awful today, so I did not really consider stepping outside until 6:30ish for a very long walk. I woke up near 9am and went back to bed until about 10:30. I drank coffee and watched Mansfield Park. 
Before I begin my new job on Monday, I have some material with which to familiarize myself, one of the items is a Civil War novel called The Killer Angels by Michael Shaara. I have never really read a war novel on my own and when forced to read The Red Badge of Courage in school, I did not care for it at all. This one is not bad so far. I only just started but one of my favorite people is Major General John Buford, mainly for his outlook on things and his intuition. He talks to himself a lot, and I can relate. Colonel Lawrence Chamberlain is second with his empathetic view towards a very tired bunch of Maine infantrymen. I like his view on things also and how he talks to his soldiers.

That was my afternoon from about 12:30 to 4pm. I then decided it was time for foodish things. I made a green juice of spinach, parsley, cabbage, cucumber and lemon. It needed more lemon.
I grew zealous while cleaning my two gigantic bunches of spinach and just about washed each leaf, one by one, eeever so carefully. 
Cleaning my juicer swallowed a good portion of my netflix time.
Yep. That's spinach.

I decided it was way too gorgeous to not go for a walk. So I did; just around the neighborhood, up and down the roads and avenues, admiring the general splendor of the Tudor-style houses that surround the area nearby. There are enormous beach trees canopying many of the streets; weeping willows and ginkgo bilobas make frequent appearences. Three of my favorites.
I also started finishing an old painting of mine yesterday. Travelled with me from home, when I moved to Brooklyn with the intension to finish right away. Until yesterday, I had not touched it for four and half years. 
 The original thumbnail.
 How it's looked since March 2007 with the original photo.
Progress report: water brushed in. Need to add a boat in that negative space there on the left (might just end up being a cliff or something), add in the finishing details, and put a tree in the foreground.

Too bad the images come out so tiny...

Sunday, July 24, 2011

Clarity

Huh...
I hope my last post doesn't sound like I will now completely let go of all hygiene and anything that may make me look aesthetically pleasing.
While reading it, I could see how one got a mental picture of me sitting in a filthy recliner wearing a stained wife beater, pants unbuttoned with a beer gut and popcorn strewn all over my lap and hair.
This, of course, is not the case. I am just happy I will not be judged anymore if my chipped nail polish takes longer than a day to correct.
I do enjoy dressing up and looking "good". I do not enjoy people taking it so damn seriously. Hearing folks go on and on and on about the joys of sequins and the genius breakthrough of The Pagoda Shoulder just makes me want to prance around in a burlap sack to show them how little I care. One way I achieve this is the not-so-uncommon outfit I'll wear to work, consisting of a pair of very old, very thread-bare scrubs and a T-shirt or maybe even a Gap Men's button down and boots. I could not care any less if the people of Madison Avenue do not view me as "fashionably elite". That's right, I'm not. I'm comfortable. Because for the next 8-and-change hours, I'll be in an unforgiving suit, consisting of a shell of a jacket and a tight and uncomfortable skirt, making the act of walking in the 4-inch heels a very annoying thing to do. Sure it may look good - it is (w)TF after all, but...my God.
I may be exceedingly harsh on the World o' Fashion, but it's only because as I have been working in the lucrative "luxury" circle for years now. I have seen the worst of it and the people that wallow in this tier can be, well, creepy. Perhaps I will find it not so unsucky one day.
I highly doubt it, but I won't shrug the notion entirely. It has had its exciting moments, and I have seen some very- eh - interesting things that make for great stories, but for now, I am so glad I broke out.

Wednesday, July 20, 2011

GTFO of (w)TF

Yes, that's right, I got the f--k out of (w)TF. 
No more patched up fiascoes, no more smoke and mirrors, no more "Yea hi, gimmie da Parts Dapawtment, pleez", no more coked out clients in flop sweats massacring entire boxes of tissues at 9:30 in the morning, no more dreaded "fashion emergencies", and no more creeps and douches saying creepy, douchey things.
Wrestling with coworkers to hold just some shred of ethics and witnessing their petty disputes will be a thing of the past; fellas, save your breath before venting to me, because I honestly DGAF and won't spend any more energy trying to fix it.
I will not have to wear painful heels anymore, unless I feel like it. No longer feeling like a display item sitting in this Fisher Price-sized iron maiden chair with desk to match. And now, my nails will not be painted unless I want them to be. 


This feeling is unlike any other; it is quite surreal walking around this place knowing that by July 30th, the only reason I will travel to the Upper East Side on a Saturday morning is if I am on my way to the Met.  
Will I reminisce later on? Will I become nostalgic for disturbia and dysfunction? WIll I long for these supple suede-paneled walls and grey velvet curtains? 
Why yes, those dressing rooms do look inviting...


Things I will miss the most:
Wearing my tissue scrubs to work or any other form of pajamarie
Controlling the music 
5 o'clock dance parties (but I may just see if this one is transferable)
Blogging and Tumbling the hours away [sly smile]

Monday, June 27, 2011

Visiters

My mother and baby sister have been in town for the past week and a half.
I have had my apartment cleaned, my laundry sorted, my fridge filled and pantry organized, my bedroom cleaned and rearranged, and my back massaged. I have sat on both Mom's and Baby Sister's lap (and they on mine).
What is it about Ma being around that makes it alright to be 15 again?
Mostly, it's like a slumber party having her and Sis here; and of course, there is still the heightened sense of nosiness when my phone rings - Ma seems to find things to do in and around my bedroom.   



Inevitably, there have been more family gatherings than usual - the cousins, the cousin's children, the aunts (and great aunts) and uncles (Ma's brothers - she has three) - which, of course, means obnoxious amounts of food and the perfect balance of sound advice, stimulating conversation and bathroom humor. I can always count on the consistent flow of belly laughs associated with every grill-out in front of the pool at one of Uncle Paulie's home, who, out of sheer nonsensical curiosity (and because he's a good "player") attempted to pull his entire rod iron patio table in "little scoots" with nothing but the twine from the canoli box...just to see if he could move it. Maybe you had to have been there, but I was surely doubled over.


It has all been an escape of sorts from the normal anxieties and frustrations of the day-to-day rigmarole , which have seemed to be incredibly overwhelming, lately. 
I get to enjoy another week and a half of all the hullabaloo and will hopefully kick off the second half of summer with new-found energy and...p'raps even a new job.
[Fingers crossed]

Thursday, June 23, 2011

Trolls vs. Pixies

I call it...Moo.

Dear New York, 
You, sir, Trolled me pretty unmercifully yesterday. Bad form. I hatelove you so damn much.
I could sense you were in a mischievous mood as soon as I woke up from a terrible sleep, odd dreams all week, and two of them regarding work.
(W)TF brought fresh hell for hours on end. I took a break at noon but only to completely butcher a phone interview. Oh, and nice touch on delaying those plans to unwind at my uncle's house in Marine Park with a last minute appointment for a wedding party...of three. 
Such gentlemen, too.

Oh what's that, Sky? You're going to chime in with your angry, "big ol' fat rain" the moment my feet touch pavement? Alright. I see how it is. And yes, please, pick the day I have no umbrella. 
What's that? A pixie came and brought me a cab? Unheard of, really. Especially in soggy times such as these.
Six bucks to take me eight blocks...pretty trollish, NYTroll, but worth it.

Then you just had to send a legion of trolls down into the Metro, didn't you, NYC? Problem, you ask? Why yes, yes I do have a problem with waiting for a Q train crawling down Manhattan and stopping on your bridge...twice. 
And nice try, but I already predicted you throwing in that sick person at the Atlantic Ave stop (I do hope they were alright though). Switching your routes to travel the R line? Force us all to get out and transfer platforms (see photo above), hmm? Why do you hate me so?
"There are train traffic delays for the B and the Q trains", trolls the dispatcher. 
Huh...yea? Huh...huh.
20 minutes.
Huh...
Theeere's the next Q train. Yes, please, to Kings Highway.
Pixies, thank you for taking over from here. 
The Q travels above ground from Prospect Park to Coney Island. It had stopped raining, and the scenery, lit by dusk, was transcending. 
Tree tops,Victorian homes under a hazey, pinkish, orange sky and the heady, verdant smell permeating the cooled air.
Alexi Murdoch supplied the perfect chill waves for the ride. And how befitting it is the way my Q train gently sways as it cruises along.
I arrive at my stop and stand in line for the B2 bus. I get a seat?? Keep singin', Mr. Murdoch. 
I hop off a few stops early, so I can walk to Uncle's in the last moments of twilight. 
Fireflies guide my way.
I am greeted with hugs and a dogpile seven children strong. 
Problem? Nope.
Relaxation Station continues out on the patio with salad, wine and a bourbon I've never had before - can't recall its name...there was an "eagle" in there somewhere.

So, NYTroll, I believe your pixies have you beat at your own game. They always seem to win.

Tauntingly,
Juliet


Monday, May 16, 2011

The Perfect Space


 *


 My favorite part of where I live - of my apartment, neighborhood, of NYC in all its entirety - is my lovely, rickety, perfectly charming fire escape. 
Nothing beats drinking coffee and soaking up morning rays while looking out over the world below from my 3rd story perch (though, I pretend it's really one of these). I've passed many a mornings breathing in the view, observing all the nearby properties divided by shared fencing. 
The guys in the yard diagonally across from me have chickens and a dog; they get along surprisingly well. 
Two yards down, the garden is coming along very nicely. 
My neighbors have wonderful potted herbs and potted "herbs" [wink].
I love the chatter and drifting scent of pit fires, riding the twilight breeze up through my windows.
Someone is playing guitar. A few houses down, it's piano. Below me, the neighbors still got those "drum lessons" goin' on.  Yet, somehow, together it is a symphony.

our plants could be doing better...




Today, I signed the lease for a new apartment in what may as well be a Caribbean-populated Siberia - sort of near nothing, no man's land, not belonging to any of the surrounding neighborhoods - at the southeast corner of  Prospect Park. Not as much beauty surrounding me, but it is a splendid space in a pre-war building. On the first floor. Hence, [sigh] no fire escape. Still near the park and has its pockets o' pretty, but lacks the charm of my current quarters.
My heart aches a little, but it has been the last straw after my landlord has sprinkled some mysterious white stuff at the base of my front door (some voodoo curse of his, no doubt) after yet another um...disagreemment. Those stories are for another time. We just can't see eye to eye, so I have decided to leave. In haste. Because he is crazy.


*'Scuse the tiny pics. They were taken with my iPod and always convert into these thumbnail-sized images. They do my perch no justice.

Sunday, May 15, 2011

My Older Brother

Yesterday, an article was written about one of my older brothers, Joey Falcone - a gentle giant...very much like a great dane.
He's been through hell and is now following his passion. When describing how much I love him and how proud I am, a grapefruit develops in my throat, and I fall completely inept in forming whole sentences.
Read it here.
Get 'emmmm!! 

Tuesday, May 10, 2011

The Velveteen Beard

So last week, there was a soiree held at wTF to "tap into a new market" for the new women's collection; a "relaunch" of sorts for the "Capsule Collection" in collab with American Express for their elite clients, as well as loyal wTF clients. 
And yours truly would be there, thanking those attending and to twirl about his grey rooms for all to admire and applaud his awesome great job
A mob of fashion hounds and obscenely rich bros n' biddies strut and clomp about, taking themselves too seriously (really now - you're wearing a men's dress shirt backwards, belted, in purple highheels with a lucite platform. I want to accidentally bump the bored waiter's trey of Champagne onto you and your shivering hot pink ratdog).
"Did you read the article in Vanity Fair on the new wave of designing for interior spaces in the style of 18th century French country? Simply duh-viiiine..." one poodle pours effusively to her, also oddly canine-esque, acquaintance in a dress of what must have been made from muppet pelt. Purse to match.
"No canapes, thank you. I eat nothing but seaweed and arugula." [guzzles down 4th champagne]


Clearly, this is how they feel:


But, to me, this seems more befitting...

And double-kisses. Oooh, the abounding double kisses. When it comes to The Kiss Hello, it just ain't mah bag. I fervently share Seinfeld's sentiments on the issue.
But when TF greeted me this time with the blasted DK, I was surprised to find his new scruff splendidly soft and, well, velvety. It was like double kissing with a horses' muzzle. 
I have always been a fan of scruff, but just not his in all its overly manscaped and painted-in quality. 
Oh, but to nuzzle it...it's more "fluff" than "scruff". I thought about it, but resisted the urge to pet and caress and puuur.
Mrow

Anyway, I understand how the fashion crowd lives for dressing up and "being seen". I get it. I've seen it now and have been in this industry way too long to break out of my apathy beyond anything more than to laugh at it all. It is an amusing show. A zoo of sorts. 
I need out.




Monday, May 9, 2011

On my Stroll...

I tried to get as lost as I could in Prospect Park and came across this mirky little pond. The sun rays were hitting the quaint and charming scene just so in the late afternoon to give it all a hazy, dreamy, entranced feel. If only you could smell it.

Can't you just see the wood nymphs? 
In the choice words of Liz Lemon, "I want to go to there."


Thursday, April 21, 2011

World, take time and play.




A game. 
Click the squares and make your own little tune! I wonder if anyone else had as much trouble tearing themselves away as me... 
"Peeing can wait. Tunes must be made!"

Some Balderdash Inspired by a Splendid Image

Bowler Hat:”I dare say, you and Longfellow’s quibble was most vexing to my soul.”
Top Hat: “Indeed, sir. The whole affront has left me quite peevish.”
BH: “Mauger the unpleasantries of this morrow, I am pleased it took place by the by, as the weather is ill; making off with the cad’s umbrella was a splendid gull!”
In unison: “Hazzah!” [laugh, laugh, laugh]
TH: “My good fellow, let us take a turn about to my covert, for it is in close neighborhood. I wish to retire and have a sop of cake and wine. What say you?”
BH: “I dare say, I relish the idea of some favorable belly timber! I concur most ardently!”
TH: “Jolly good! Now. Careful of that there plash…”




luzfosca:

Ken Russell
From La Pluie sans parapluie
Bowler Hat:”I dare say, you and Longfellow’s quibble was most vexing to my soul.”
Top Hat: “Indeed, sir. The whole affront has left me quite peevish.”
BH: “Mauger the unpleasantries of this morrow, I am pleased it took place by the by, as the weather is ill; making off with the cad’s umbrella was a splendid gull!”
In unison: “Hazzah!” [laugh, laugh, laugh]
TH: “My good fellow, let us take a turn about to my covert, for it is in close neighborhood. I wish to retire and have a sop of cake and wine. What say you?”
BH: “I dare say, I relish the idea of some favorable belly timber! I concur most ardently!”
TH: “Jolly good! Now. Careful of that there plash…”

Thursday, April 14, 2011

But Don't Worry...

This will forever make me smile...


You are the bread and the knife,
the crystal goblet and the wine.
You are the dew on the morning grass
and the burning wheel of the sun.
You are the white apron of the baker,
and the marsh birds suddenly in flight.

However, you are not the wind in the orchard,
the plums on the counter,
or the house of cards.
And you are certainly not the pine-scented air.
There is just no way that you are the pine-scented air.

It is possible that you are the fish under the bridge,
maybe even the pigeon on the general's head,
but you are not even close
to being the field of cornflowers at dusk.

And a quick look in the mirror will show
that you are neither the boots in the corner
nor the boat asleep in its boathouse.

It might interest you to know,
speaking of the plentiful imagery of the world,
that I am the sound of rain on the roof.

I also happen to be the shooting star,
the evening paper blowing down an alley
and the basket of chestnuts on the kitchen table.

I am also the moon in the trees
and the blind woman's tea cup.
But don't worry, I'm not the bread and the knife.
You are still the bread and the knife.
You will always be the bread and the knife,
not to mention the crystal goblet and--somehow--the wine. 



Litany by Billy Collins
Here's a tune.

Wednesday, April 13, 2011

They're Right

Last night I had my first experience with the ancient, much written and sung about feeling, of a heavy heart.
Completely caught off guard with nothing to say, and how do I stop?
It absolutely feels like someone sitting on your chest. It's intense; bittersweet.

Monday, April 11, 2011

If Only...

Oh, how simple would it be if flipping a coin could decide for us. 
Recently, I've done so, and found you really learn what you want when the coin is flipping in the air. That instant, before it drops to the floor, shows me where my heart truly is.
It's time for a walk.





Thursday, March 31, 2011

Easier Said Than Done

       We-he-hell change most certainly is hard. 
If I want to make myself better, who cares about the difficulty when the result is happiness, hope, and a better future. What good can come from being afraid of it? So, come what may - may it be certain thoughts keeping me up all night, which always makes me want to spend a few moments in the bathroom, just to occupy my brain with something else for a bit ("maybe if my stomach's empty, my brain will be quieted and feel empty too?") - I know I can still beat it.
Sheeit, son! The twisted lies one can tell themselves.


I fought it off this time, but "easier said than done" indeed. Even still, I feel kinda sorta awful, but I know it will be OK. Patience, Fata, patience.
Change is OK. I'm not afraid anymore to know myself without these issues. I know I can be better, and I want to be better fowah evereh bodeh ayelse


I hear it from everyone - "you can beat it. You're great and will push through just fine." Why can't just speaking it out loud be a cure? Can't I just sit back and say it a few times and be done with it? Changing takes so much wooork. I already have a job, a thank ya very much. wTF keeps me plenty occupied. But nooo, it requires effort and perseverance. 
Meh - it's OK. Because, again,  I know in the end it's worth it. So whether or not I do this for someone or with someone I just know I have to do it. I can't hold onto an issue for other people to deal with too - that's not fair. 


So, as I [sigh], I let it go. it's OK to do that. I know I will have to remind myself many times, hence my redundancy here. Other things may come up, pr'aps just as hard to beat, who knows. Who cares anymore; I'm fed up with being afraid of it. 
So let's play my Anthem of the Day another time, shall we?...





Monday, March 21, 2011

Different Pudding

So there's this
Yet, I don't think I'm too old or in too deep to break away. I don't know if anyone can be so far gone to lose all heart to fight for something - maybe they just haven't found something/someone for which to fight. So, if I cannot find enough worth in myself to fight  it right now, then I'll remember you have never failed me, so I won't fail you.
You're worth it to me along with all the others for whom I care so deeply.
And I'll do it for my future. I'd like to be worry-free and healthy for whatever else may come.
So, I may have tried to take it on before - it's been two steps back, one step forward mostly. Just remembering to swallow smaller bites. "It's gonna be alright".
I'm working towards a permanent vacation from my problems*.
[Sigh] 


If anything that is scaring me, aside from all of this, it is the fact I can't focus or sort through this puddin' o' feelings. Quite the large and strong brew, and I can't stop sticking my fingers in it, making them all pruny.


In muh brain.


*What About Bob ref. [Fist bump] if you got that.

Sunday, March 20, 2011

Cabbage is What Bwings us Togethaaah Today

Oh, sweet Cabbage, allow me to wax poetic over your majestic...ness...


You, aside from your nutritionally noble qualities possess a flavor worthy of all superlatives.
Your firm, crisp leaves send me roaming about hills of delicate greens and rich purples. I, wearing a dreamy smile, julienne you along with jalapeno, ginger, parsley, red onion, garlic, balsamic vinegar, and extra virgin olive oil, sprinkled with Sicilian sea salt (my spesh reserve) and black peppaaah.
I love you. Marry me.


Effusively yours,
Juliet 

Saturday, March 19, 2011

Gaminishness...

It is a strange phenomenon to feel completely at home and a foreigner about the same place.
I find a certain solace walking around my neighborhood when striking up conversation with my bodega guy while playing with Bodega Kitty (Smokey), in knowing the usual routes so well (yet still manage to always trip over that same mangled slab of sidewalk), and having my secret favorite spot in Prospect Park.
I love when I spot familiar people on familiar routes or that dog walker dragging that ugly cocker spaniel around the same block. Listening to the morning banjo guy on the subway platform has its charms and peaking at my fellow commuter's book choices over time, attempting to figure out what kind of person they must be (I'd ask if it wasn't so much fun to imagine) is always amusing. I'm never bored, and if I find myself doing nothing in particular, even still I am quite content. 
I make acquaintances and some build into friendships, pr'aps while doing shots watching the Golden Globes at Plan B or after I'm stopped and scolded for walking around with my bag unzipped; small talk is also a way to remain sane while waiting for a Q Train, which moves at a glacial pace on Saturdays. 


I must say, being (w)TF's concierge certainly has taught me how to break out of my impossible shell in many ways. So I guess I'm...[gulp]...thankful for my posish [gag] here in some ways. [pants]...shyoof...


I'm surrounded by people who, for the most part, are from anywhere but New York. Espesh in muh nabe. Body Builder is from Trinidad, Artist Assistant is from somewhere in the prairie lands (I forget where), Danny Diva is from Ohio, Aimless Scavenger Man scavenged his way from Maine, and Joe Hipster is from Savayannah, Gawigah (for the record, I've found many a Joe Hipster from Savannah and its surrounding areas huddled in pockets of Williamsburg and Brooklyn Heights...I'm starting to form a theory of their migration here to Brooklyn. For another time...).


So, I remember I'm never alone in feeling awkward and out of place in my own stompin' grounds. Many feel the same way; I've just had to allow myself to see the friendly faces who have been or are in the same boat.
It took almost two years to develop mah Noo Yoawk swag. I'm also a registered voter. I have my usual post office - full of Dominican pride (and by pride, I mean a rain cloud, stop-talking-to-me attitude) and Thai Place knows who I am when I call for a delivery. 


There's still many a tahm when NY shows an ugly face, turns a cold shoulder, and becomes relentlessly overwhelming. It's a love-hate, bittersweet relationship we share as I roam these streets. 
When it gets to one of those points, I'll remember to spot a fellow foreigner and plop down on a fake rock in Central Park to swap stories.


“You walk along the road with all people, and you sing as you go forward. So sing love songs of your homeland, the kind travellers sins and, most of the time, they sing at night.”
-St. Augustine

Tuesday, February 15, 2011

Mini Vaycay Hey HEY!

For weeks now, my days off (and most post work evenings) have been fully devoted to job searching and reformatting cover letters, resumes and introductions. Researching companies, utilizing those "key words", learning econ lingo for an exec assistant job i don't want, politely reciting how I'd answer Giorgio Armani's phones (can't do it...sorry. Just. Can't. Go there.)
ENOUGH, I SAY!!
Last week, I believe for the first time in my life, I accomplished one of my life dreams; I handed off my proposal and resume to yours truly. He took it, politely, meh, cordially - not thrilled, but gracious, which was more than I expected. I am content, but will still bring one to his production offices on friday, right after my meeting with Bray Productions' owner, Chris Bray. Oh, my heart is heavy.
So, I'm getting there. Slowly, clawing my way out of (w)TF's grey well, its towering walls slick with empty (yet charming) promises and disenchanted cynicism - admittedly, a very comfortable state of mind. As I crawl, I'll remind myself to go towards something I truly want and can see myself doing anywhere, however many years down the road. 


BUT


Today, with my pj's still on and Kraken rum toddy in tow (any hour is happy hour), I shall fill this day strictly with recreational things and pleasurables. That means surfing Soundcloud and reading, most likely Bikram yoga, and undoubtedly, a stroll.


CLICK ME, I'M WONDERFUL 
ME TOO. I'M NOT SO NEW, BUT WORTH IT. 
STILL IN LOVE
YESH, ALWAYS and ALWAYS 
MADE BY MAH FRAYEND... 

P.S. No, mom it is not a habit for me to drink such things in the middle of the day in my pj's. I'm no toper.

Friday, January 28, 2011

Dream Home

Yes, I do dearly love my Peter Pan cocoon loft bed treehouse fortress, but I'll use it as scrap wood for a raft to float out to this little roost. Then I'll reeeally be living like one of the Boys.
[sigh] a gal can only dream...

Tuesday, January 25, 2011

Dinner?

My days off are usually pretty mundane; hardly ever filled with more than a trip to the cafe to "work" on shtuff, cat naps, visiting The Strand, catch up on my No Res, or talking to my baby sister about her scrap booking hobby.
This particular Monday was pretty full with job searches, work for Sicily, nearly three months worth of laundry, and the best two and a half hours ever - spent with Capital Fellow chatting in a Southern accent (it all started with this). 
[bats ahye layeshes fruhm beehahnd laysee fayen]
Oh. Question from the back? How does one avoid laundry for three glorious months, you ask? Simple! American Apparel and Victoria's Secret 4 for $20 deals. 
[ZZZZING] WINNERRRR!!!


By the time I look up again, it's nearly midnight. Simply no time for grocery shopping (maybe in the morrow), I tried to throw something edible together in a ravenous fury.
Dececco Kamut linguini, herbed butter and some extra virgin olive oil, verdent orbs o' happiness (peas) and corn (frozen), a bit o' organic chicken bouillon and some of the pasta water to make something close to a sauce.
Mmm, desperation.

Friday, January 21, 2011

Dear (W)TF...

I work in the midst of a clusterfuck.
Sorry, no other word for it.

A Rolls Royce with no hubcaps.

It has become habit for this place to operate entirely devoid of management. And now today, no security guards - you know, for pizazz.
So yesterday, sure - go to the doctor's...in Westchester. In the middle of the day.
Earlier in the week too; just uh...wanna mini vacay? Hm? No problem. You're the boss, can't say no. Just...I dunno, bring me back some chocolate. 
Suuure is becoming the norm 'round these pristine parts - dozens of millions of dollars surrounding me; I literally sit on top of about 80G's, yo.
And during a busy day on TOP of an employee sale, with these little weasels sniffing around, taking and reselling what they can, not to mention plenty of unwatched tourists. 
Yea, alright, I  "won't let the place burn down" while you're gone. This big grey El Dorado will just look like a freshly pilfered Who house on Christmas morning, Grinches of all walks clutching huge rhino-hued suede sacks, laughing maniacally in their dank caves.


And the stealidge is really only one thing. Naps? Yes. Scatter like roaches if the front door even hints at opening? Always. Justifying those 3 dress shirts hidden in the luggage piece you're buying at 90% off because of your pay cut? Whiny spoiled brat. Leaving early? I figured at least that.

If someone could get me a large popcorn and a soda, that'd be grreeeat. [sips from coffee mug]

Monday, January 17, 2011

On Lying in Bed

It's a holiday today (Happy MLK Jr. Day!); however, if I did not already possess my (mostly) fixed schedule of a Sunday/ Monday "weekend", I would be at the dreaded desk n' chair:
(really, TF. There is no way you put any consideration into the function or comfort when choosing your concierge's desk hmm?...) 

Most people today will take the liberty of sleeping in, just as I did. In lying here, I reflect on an essay of G.K. Chesterton's. Pay no real mind to highlighted bits; they're only my favorite parts. Enjoy it as much I do, or Dieu tu blesse.


On Lying in Bed

Lying in bed would be an altogether perfect and supreme experience if only one had a coloured pencil long enough to draw on the ceiling. This, however, is not generally a part of the domestic apparatus on the premises. I think myself that the thing might be managed with several pails of Aspinall and a broom. Only if one worked in a really sweeping and masterly way, and laid on the colour in great washes, it might drip down again on one’s face in floods of rich and mingled colour like some strange fairy rain; and that would have its disadvantages. I am afraid it would be necessary to stick to black and white in this form of artistic composition. To that purpose, indeed, the white ceiling would be of the greatest possible use; in fact, it is the only use I think of a white ceiling being put to.
But for the beautiful experiment of lying in bed I might never have discovered it. For years I have been looking for some blank spaces in a modern house to draw on. Paper is much too small for any really allegorical design; as Cyrano de Bergerac says, “Il me faut des gĂ©ants” [“I need giants”]. But when I tried to find these fine clear spaces in the modern rooms such as we all live in I was continually disappointed. I found an endless pattern and complication of small objects hung like a curtain of fine links between me and my desire. I examined the walls; I found them to my surprise to be already covered with wallpaper, and I found the wallpaper to be already covered with uninteresting images, all bearing a ridiculous resemblance to each other. I could not understand why one arbitrary symbol (a symbol apparently entirely devoid of any religious or philosophical significance) should thus be sprinkled all over my nice walls like a sort of small-pox. The Bible must be referring to wallpapers, I think, when it says, “Use not vain repetitions, as the Gentiles do.” I found the Turkey carpet a mass of unmeaning colours, rather like the Turkish Empire, or like the sweetmeat called Turkish Delight. I do not exactly know what Turkish Delight really is; but I suppose it is Macedonian Massacres. Everywhere that I went forlornly, with my pencil or my paint brush, I found that others had unaccountably been before me, spoiling the walls, the curtains, and the furniture with their childish and barbaric designs.
. . . . .
Nowhere did I find a really clear space for sketching until this occasion when I prolonged beyond the proper limit the process of lying on my back in bed. Then the light of that white heaven broke upon my vision, that breadth of mere white which is indeed almost the definition of Paradise, since it means purity and also means freedom. But alas! like all heavens, now that it is seen it is found to be unattainable; it looks more austere and more distant than the blue sky outside the window. For my proposal to paint on it with the bristly end of a broom has been discouraged—never mind by whom; by a person debarred from all political rights—and even my minor proposal to put the other end of the broom into the kitchen fire and turn it to charcoal has not been conceded. Yet I am certain that it was from persons in my position that all the original inspiration came for covering the ceilings of palaces and cathedrals with a riot of fallen angels or victorious gods. I am sure that it was only because Michael Angelo was engaged in the ancient and honourable occupation of lying in bed that he ever realized how the roof of the Sistine Chapel might be made into an awful imitation of a divine drama that could only be acted in the heavens.
The tone now commonly taken toward the practice of lying in bed is hypocritical and unhealthy. Of all the marks of modernity that seem to mean a kind of decadence, there is none more menacing and dangerous than the exultation of very small and secondary matters of conduct at the expense of very great and primary ones, at the expense of eternal ties and tragic human morality. If there is one thing worse than the modern weakening of major morals, it is the modern strengthening of minor morals. Thus it is considered more withering to accuse a man of bad taste than of bad ethics. Cleanliness is not next to godliness nowadays, for cleanliness is made essential and godliness is regarded as an offence. A playwright can attack the institution of marriage so long as he does not misrepresent the manners of society, and I have met Ibsenite pessimists who thought it wrong to take beer but right to take prussic acid. Especially this is so in matters of hygiene; notably such matters as lying in bed. Instead of being regarded, as it ought to be, as a matter of personal convenience and adjustment, it has come to be regarded by many as if it were a part of essential morals to get up early in the morning. It is upon the whole part of practical wisdom; but there is nothing good about it or bad about its opposite.
. . . . .
Misers get up early in the morning; and burglars, I am informed, get up the night before. It is the great peril of our society that all its mechanisms may grow more fixed while its spirit grows more fickle. A man’s minor actions and arrangements ought to be free, flexible, creative; the things that should be unchangeable are his principles, his ideals. But with us the reverse is true; our views change constantly; but our lunch does not change. Now, I should like men to have strong and rooted conceptions, but as for their lunch, let them have it sometimes in the garden, sometimes in bed, sometimes on the roof, sometimes in the top of a tree. Let them argue from the same first principles, but let them do it in a bed, or a boat, or a balloon. This alarming growth of good habits really means a too great emphasis on those virtues which mere custom can ensure, it means too little emphasis on those virtues which custom can never quite ensure, sudden and splendid virtues of inspired pity or of inspired candour. If ever that abrupt appeal is made to us we may fail. A man can get used to getting up at five o’clock in the morning. A man cannot very well get used to being burnt for his opinions; the first experiment is commonly fatal. Let us pay a little more attention to these possibilities of the heroic and unexpected. I dare say that when I get out of this bed I shall do some deed of an almost terrible virtue.
For those who study the great art of lying in bed there is one emphatic caution to be added. Even for those who can do their work in bed (like journalists), still more for those whose work cannot be done in bed (as, for example, the professional harpooners of whales), it is obvious that the indulgence must be very occasional. But that is not the caution I mean. The caution is this: if you do lie in bed, be sure you do it without any reason or justification at all. I do not speak, of course, of the seriously sick. But if a healthy man lies in bed, let him do it without a rag of excuse; then he will get up a healthy man. If he does it for some secondary hygienic reason, if he has some scientific explanation, he may get up a hypochondriac.
(1909)