The Velveteen Beard

So last week, there was a soiree held at wTF to "tap into a new market" for the new women's collection; a "relaunch" of sorts for the "Capsule Collection" in collab with American Express for their elite clients, as well as loyal wTF clients. 
And yours truly would be there, thanking those attending and to twirl about his grey rooms for all to admire and applaud his awesome great job. 
A mob of fashion hounds and obscenely rich bros n' biddies strut and clomp about, taking themselves too seriously (really now - you're wearing a men's dress shirt backwards, belted, in purple highheels with a lucite platform. I want to accidentally bump the bored waiter's trey of Champagne onto you and your shivering hot pink ratdog).
"Did you read the article in Vanity Fair on the new wave of designing for interior spaces in the style of 18th century French country? Simply duh-viiiine..." one poodle pours effusively to her, also oddly canine-esque, acquaintance in a dress of what must have been made from muppet pelt. Purse to match.
"No canapes, thank you. I eat nothing but seaweed and arugula." [guzzles down 4th champagne]


Clearly, this is how they feel:

But, to me, this seems more befitting...

And double-kisses. Oooh, the abounding double kisses. When it comes to The Kiss Hello, it just ain't mah bag. I fervently share Seinfeld's sentiments on the issue.

But when TF greeted me this time with the blasted DK, I was surprised to find his new scruff splendidly soft and, well, velvety. It was like double kissing with a horses' muzzle. 

I have always been a fan of scruff, but just not his in all its overly manscaped and painted-in quality. 

Oh, but to nuzzle it...it's more "fluff" than "scruff". I thought about it, but resisted the urge to pet and caress and puuur.

Mrow

Anyway, I understand how the fashion crowd lives for dressing up and "being seen". I get it. I've seen it now and have been in this industry way too long to break out of my apathy beyond anything more than to laugh at it all. It is an amusing show. A zoo of sorts. 

I need out.