Things aren't Always What They Seem

Today, we'll be playing a game of

NAME

THAT

THING!!!

Heeeere's rooound one!!

Could it be Tootles' lost marbles? pebbles at the bottom of a fish tank??

Larvae, you say? Nope, AND deduct 50 trillion internets for your lousy, prosaic, attempt at a guess.

Blown up microscopic image of what's inside your blackheads?

Gross.

NO!

OK, round two. Moving on to it's (here's a hint) driiiiied staaaage:

[Ooooh's and Aaaaah's abound]

tick-tock, tick-tock, tick-tock, tick-tock...

Capers? pppppffhh, HA!!!!

No.
Some sort of dried caviar??? Some odd Chinatown find where only the shriveled 230 year old Grandma manning the filthy, fly-infested, food(?) stand knows its true origin?? NOOOOOOOOOO!!!


Folks, for rooooound three! How about we single out just one, with a reference scale, both raw and dried specimens...

A bird's eye?!! You barbarian. No.

Give up???

Really??? Because you'll be giving up on this priiiize!!

Weeell, ok.

It's time for THIS!!!

You want to know what it is???

!!!!!!!

Welp, you'll have to wait after this brief message from one of our sponsors!!!!

Please stop crying. No-no! Don't turn that dial! You're...you're my only viewer.

Ugh, yea, the build-up joke is getting old for me too...

They're papaya seeds!!!!!

These slimy little orbs are a terrific substitute for black pepper, though they're heat is a bit different. It's not as sharp; more mellow and warm, I'd say. Also, it's a bit toasty tasting (maaaybe that's because of the oven? Might not have that quality if put in a dehydrator). My favorite part would have to be how the heat lingers and builds in your mouth - it doesn't necessarily hit your palate right at first, but that may just be me.
Either way, I'll be using it instead (or maybe with, since I love spice) of black pepper, mostly because it is home to copious amounts of enzymes aiding in digestion. You can also just chomp on them if you're too impatient to dry them in the oven at 150 degrees (in my oven's case, 170 degrees). I'm not all that picky and eat just about anything (and can be quite lazy sometimes), so I enjoy both ways!
I must say, the raw texture is fun. Plus you get more of the fruit's flavor this way. To clean them, all you really have to do is rinse or soak them a bit, and your natural-ified Alka Seltzer is a-ready to a-gooo! Just pulverize them in your spice grinder to however coarse you want, or put them in whole inside your pepper mill. Apparently, they're a great addition to salad dressings. 
I think I may just add it to some guacammmmole.

......

...if you caught the Austen Powers in Goldmember reference, you just earned back your 50 trillion internets.


So next time I buy a papaya, I'll be trying out this cocktail called Iron Fist in a Velvet Glove. To be honest, I'm not a huge fan of the musky-esque essence papaya can have, but when disguised with booze, who cares. (supposed to serve 4...personally, I love gin, so I'd up that part of the ratio a bit):
1 ripe Hawaiian papaya, seeded and peeled 
Papaya seeds from one papaya, rinsed 
6 ounces of gin (I'd put a whole 8 :) ) 
3 tablespoons lemon juice 
5 mint leaves 
16 ounces club soda 
½ cup cubed ice 
Blend everything together in a blender until combined. Serve nice and chill!